by Julie DeLong, A-1 Freeman Moving Group
Prepare for the Worst, Hope for the Best
Moving is tough—notwithstanding the circumstances, any time you are packing up all your worldly belongings (read--old college papers, lamps you have been meaning to repair, kids’ art projects) and move them to a new house is staggering for even the most chipper and optimistic among us. When you've secured your dream job—three states away--and your significant other has to vacate their career, when life has thrown you a huge curveball and you are basically given no choice but to move, when living alone is no longer safe---you have to deal with a rollercoaster of emotional ups and downs along with the stress of the actual move to Tulsa and Oklahoma City.
A big stressor in moving is coping with the whims of the real estate business. You're a mature adult, esteemed in your community, and your life is utterly in the hands of some people you've never met--what if your home does not sell quickly? Suppose the folks buying your house find a different house that they like better? What if they decide they want you to leave the refrigerator and the kids' playset? Suppose the appraiser sees the rift in the foundation that's sort of unseen behind the hedge? Suppose the home inspector uncovers your new home has a wornout roof or there's a new bowling alley and travel plaza slotted for across the road from your new addition? Here is the deal. You have no control over any of these things. The best you can do is to ensure that the realtor selling your home and the realtor helping you with the new house are skilled and do what they are supposed to do--and work with both to have a back-up plan should something get askew.
Real estate transactions are like a huge run of dominoes--closings usually depend on another closing happening as scheduled. One snafu several steps down the timeline can impact your buyers timeline, and a similar thing goes for the home you're purchasing—unforeseen glitch might mean you can't close on the day that you were planning on, and you're up all night pondering how you will handle being homeless for a few days, or if you might just move into one of the moving company’s moving trucks and set up camp.
Relax. One of the perks of the recession is that real estate rules have changed and there aren't quite as many last-minute updates with your closings. You should find out about any potential concerns far in advance of your closing date, and in the event something does vary, moving companies are very adept at working with changing timetables. If something does slow your move down, you may have the option of moving in a few days prior to when you actually close--again, a good realtor plans for contingencies, so you do not have to fret about them.
Communicate with your realtors and lender once per week before your scheduled closing to be sure all the inspections and repairs and specifics are on schedule; staying in the know gives you at least a feeling of control, and if there is a speedbump you are not hit unexpectedly.
If something dreadful does happen, like if you're building and weather has pushed back inspections and you do not have the occupancy certificate a few days before you close because the electrical is not completed, AND you have fixed closing date on your old house and the movers are slammed, don't panic. Most moving companies offer temporary or long-term storage until you can get in your new home, and your realtor can assist you in finding short-term housing until your residence is accessible. Issues like these are not likely, but when they do occur your stress levels skyrocket--so trust your team to help you deal with it.
The Emotional Stages of Moving
So, you are moving to Tulsa and Oklahoma City--and it could be desirable, it may be a challenge. You may be going three blocks or three hundred miles away. Everybody's scenario is distinct, but people are pretty much the same--the emotional rollercoaster just varies from residence to home. Some are kiddie sized, with happy animated characters to ride in, and others mirror a death-defying, nausea-inducing Loch Ness monster. The trick is to turn that roller coaster into a mellow ride with happy little people singing "It's A Small World" as you float through your closets.
Some researchers and psychologists have equated moving--in any circumstance--to the Kubler-Ross five stages of grief model. Meaning, you encounter denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.
When you have constructed a life in a single place, it is absolutely normal to have mixed emotions about leaving the residence where you lovingly painted every room just the right color, where you brought your kiddos home, where you celebrated all those birthdays and graduations. If your move is not an option but an essentiality, it is okay to be angry with the fates that have brought you to the place where you are vacating your residence because you have no choice. Be furious, yell and holler at the walls and rely on your family and friends for assistance. Take some time attempting to think about how to not have to move—maybe your spouse could commute, or get a room in the new town; if you require assistance taking care of your house, you might consider getting live in help. Working through your alternatives, as insane as they could be, helps you think through the reality of moving so that it is a tad less painful to accept it.
Then, you may spend several days or weeks in denial, of sorts. This is when your friends ask if they can stop over and help you sift through your belongings, and you fabricate a tad and say you're nearly done, when in actuality you have pitched two old socks and one pair of those disposable pedicure flip flops and haven’t picked up the first box for packing. If you are really struggling with the nitty gritty of purging and packing, allow your friends to assist. Or, ask your moving company to pack for you—the majority of full-service movers have professional packers who can either get you going or do the full job for you.
Finally, you'll accept the transition and change. It may not be the moment the moving vans pull up, it could take several months. But the human spirit is an adaptable thing and you will come to accept and embrace your new abode in Tulsa and Oklahoma City. That's not to pretend it will be simple, but being willing to making a new life and doing new things can ease the nostalgia for your old house and your old life.
Your family members might all experience similar feelings, although with varying degrees of passion--teenagers’ reactions are going to be a tad more forceful than that of a toddler. If you are leaving your family home for senior living because one spouse is not doing well, then the more active spouse may go through more anger and denial. The important thing is to keep in mind that the emotional swings are normal and it would be weird if you did not feel sad or angry or a little anxious during the process.
Keeping your move in perspective is critical to arriving to the new residence in one piece. Your life is not housed in the walls of your old house, your life is in the memories you have created there. Keep in mind that you won't lose old friends, and that you'll make new ones. And someday, you'll open the front door and say to yourself, "I am home."
Easing the Transition
People are creatures of habit--even babies choose their favorite stuffed animal and there’ll be a small catastrophe if it is in the wash at nap time. Likewise, when you move, you are usually giving up most of your habits in place and even when you're excited about the new home, the new life you have got to evolve around it is demanding to even the most courageous. When you're moving and anxious about establishing a new life for you and your family in Tulsa and Oklahoma City, here are some ways to help with the transition.
Get your family pumped up about the move to Tulsa and Oklahoma City. If this translates to agreeing that your teenage daughter can paint her favorite rock band’s newest album on her wall, put a smile on your face and get the paint. It could mean that finally you have enough yard for a dog—decide what sort of dog you want, and as soon as everything is unpacked, go to the local shelter and pick one out. Plan to bring home two, as everybody needs a pal. Let your kids put up tents and camp out in that new yard. Of course, it its bribery of a sort, but it is all for the greater good and the delight of new activities and besides, puppies are hard to beat. And, if you are the one having a hard time with it, seeing your family doing well goes a long way to helping your spirits.
When you're moving, the world-wide web (if you're older that terminology means something to you) makes the move a lot smoother. You most likely used real estate websites to find your new home and investigate schools and neighborhoods, so you have a decent perception already of your new bubble. Use social media to link up with people--towns of all sizes have mom groups that provide all types of things from dermatologist reviews to the best swim lessons--and remember that your new neighbors can be very helpful. Lots of neighborhoods have social media pages and online listings that tell you whose kids babysit, dog walk and shovel snow.
If you have kiddos, transitioning activities is much more crucial to them than that orthodontist. Being able to hop right back into basketball or piano lessons or ballet keeps them active and helps them assimilate into their new surroundings-the last thing you need is to have pouting kids around the home whining that they hate you and do not have anyone to hang out with. And here's an interesting fact—findings show that moving in the middle of the school year can be less stressful for children than moving over the summer break. If you commence a new school at the start of the year it's more likely to get lost in the turmoil of the new year , but when you arrive when school's in session, it's more probable your kids will find friends faster and get more interested in school.
The loss of a feeling of community can be a difficult part of a relocation for the adults. When you are used to stopping by a neighbor's house just because it’s part of your routine, moving to a new place where you do not know a soul is tough. Keep in mind that your new neighbors are most likely interested in getting to know you, because they've possibly said adios to their drive-by buddies and are looking forward to getting to know the new neighbors (aka – you!). Playing with the dog outside is a sure-fire way to say hello to the neighbors--their curiosity about you is high, and this provides you an easy way to meet everyone.
The majority of churches and synagogues have newcomers’ classes that that you can join, and help you to discover how you fit within that community. The majority of schools would love to have more volunteers, so ponder getting involved. And, if you're a member of a national organization like Rotary or Junior League your membership will transfer from one city to the next.
Life changes are hard, but by allowing yourself and your loved ones the okay to be a little sad about the past will help everyone look forward to the future.
If you are contemplating a move, contact A-1 Freeman Moving Group to get started on your free in-home estimate. We promise to do our part to make your move to Tulsa and Oklahoma City as seamless as possible.